"Have you tried reading a self help book?"

Polymer clay, acrylic, walnut shell, glass, Pebeo Cerne Relief

This small-scale sculpture explores the disconnect between external perception and internal experience.​​ The title is a direct quote from my old GP.

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Made in response to my diagnosis of Postural Tachycardia Syndrome (PoTS), the work centres on a miniature, anatomically-informed heart—sculpted in polymer clay and small enough to rest inside a walnut shell. Surrounding it, etched symbols taken from my most recent echocardiogram appear on delicate glass.

PoTS is a condition which can only be tested for using the "Tilt Test", as it does not show up on scans or blood tests. While it does create an elevated BPM (my own frequently reaching well over 120 before treatment), this can often be misinterpreted by the medical community as "anxiety". This was unfortunately the case for me. For over a year my pain, fatigue, collapsing and palpitations were passed off as dramatics, hysteria, anxiety, attention seeking and even an attempted diagnosis of Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder. My own experiences were dismissed and diminished to such a point that I began to question my own sanity. My heart and its problems were minimised and cast aside, by assumptions based on my age and gender. 

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When I received a diagnosis confirming a condition of PoTS I broke down in tears. In a nutshell- I am not crazy and here is the proof.